I Am Not Commanded but Compelled

Came across Kent M. Keith's 'The Paradoxical Commandments' and I thought I'd publish it. So here they are:

• People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway.
• If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway.
• If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.
• The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
• Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.
• The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. Think big anyway.
• People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs. Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
• What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.
  
• People really need help but may attack you if you do help them. Help people anyway.
  
• Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.

It's undeniable that you can relate to one or many of these commandments, no matter which end of the spectrum you may lay. My conclusion is that whatever it is we do, every choice we make with every good intention will not reciprocate the same reaction. Thus, it is a question of your own individual morals - what actions can you make, or not make, and be satisfied making? I think one of the ideas Kent may have in mind is that 'no good deed goes unpunished'. But I'd like to stress that 'good' is not something that can be remade or taken away. 'Good' is the force that compels us to abide by our ethics and morals and so no matter what is done by others following the action which results from this force, the 'good' will always remain.

'The Impulse': An Exercise

I was doing some reading today and I came across a concept known as 'the impulse'. 'The impulse' is the feeling experienced by a writer (or by others whose hobbies or professions depend heavily on creativity) when he/she is impacted by a situation, in its broadest sense. The author suggested an exercise that is similar to this:
At any moment, when you go about your every-day routine or when you are just taking a simple walk, if you happen to observe a scene which evokes a feeling or a reaction from you, then write. The key, the author describes, is to just describe the scene and not analyze it. The idea is to describe every detail, as irrelevant as it may seem. The idea is to allow your unconscious to write out the scene, meaning that there is no need to make it coherent because that would mean that your consciousness is controlling how you express what you felt. It is key to remove yourself from the scene and stand aback and observe the scene from afar. After describing every detail, then you can begin some dialogue (if the scene has people) and try to make it simple and an unstrained conversation - just whatever you think could have been said. Write for 20 minutes or whenever your 'impulse' is drained.
I haven't yet tried this exercise, these 'impulses' like the make themselves rare in my case, but i will try it and let you know how it went and let you judge for yourself.

I'm publishing this because i think its important to know that not everything has to be planned out or practiced. Sometimes the best in people comes out when you don't have a critical eye on the beginnings of a piece of art.

The book was entitled: The Art of Dramatic Writing by Stuart Spencer

An Unwarranted Guarantee

(Victoria storms into the bedroom after a long pretentious night out with neighbours. She sits tamely on a floral printed bench in front of her vanity, preparing herself for bed.)

Victoria: You son-of-a-bitch.

(Following quickly behind is her husband Thomas. He is furious with her verbal carelessness and quickly refutes it.)

Thomas: Don’t you dare raise your voice with me woman – if I can even refer to you as one. You resemble more of a five pence whore then any degree of a lady.

(Thomas reaches for a drink but does not prepare himself for bed. He stands stiffly by the alcohol cabinet and stares at Victoria completing midnight routine.)

Victoria: Then what role should I assign you? Considering you are so intimately related to a whore? I would say you are the reminisce of a lonely, rich and degraded man who sees happiness as a reflection of how others see him. You are a selfish man who does not care for truths but rather how truths can be intricately created from ‘material happenings’. Truths are meant to be the constructions of individual minds, which you obviously lack the capability of doing.

Thomas: And yours are truths that ultimately mean nothing and serve no benefits to you in the real world, which, by the way, relies heavily on ‘material happenings’.

Victoria: So I suppose it is more efficient to accustom oneself to this – this falsity then to question it and its significance and your significance in relation to it?

Thomas: Questioning why things are as they are does not change the fact that they are, dear.

(Victoria turns around to face Thomas as he leans against the wall finishing off the last of his drink.)

Victoria: Shut up. You have always been predictable. You are a mannequin. A man constructed for a purpose and whose limbs move according to another’s desire. Your whole body is vacant of any autonomy.

(Thomas pours another drink. Replies with his back the Victoria)

Thomas: But it is I, nevertheless, who receives the reward, darling.

Victoria: Your face is vacant too. You have permanent features that don’t change in relation to your feelings. You have no feelings! No personality. You would be useless as soon as you were removed from the glass window you so securely and confidently stand behind.

(Thomas turns back to Victoria. Glass filled.)

Thomas: Seems to me that you are also on display within this glass window – along side me.

Victoria: That may be true but I am screaming, hitting and kicking this window so that I can escape this horrifying life.

(Victoria throws a comb against her vanity mirror in hopes that it would shatter. But it does not. After a moment of silence she continues, increasingly frustrated.)

Victoria: I am not submissive. I am fighting my way out. This life does not bring me happiness nor truth. However it may look to others makes to no difference to me. Unlike you – you coward, I want to be vulnerable, move as I would like, display myself as I choose, think and speak at my own discretion. This glass does not serve as protection, nor do you.

Thomas: Your safety is not my purpose, dear.

(Victoria sits calmly on her vanity bench again, and continues to prepare herself for bed)

Victoria: And what exactly is the purpose you have been ascribed, dear?

Thomas: To merely play a part. I do not have my own incentives – the world does not require me to. If everything and everyone is interconnected by these material happenings then why must I challenge it? Why must you challenge it? What you seem to ignore is that all life is encased within a glass display. You dear, just choose to see it as imprisonment rather than a guarantee.

(Victoria stands up abruptly from her bench and moves towards the alcohol cabinet. As she pours herself a drink she questions Thomas.)

Victoria: A guarantee? What is it that we are guaranteed? An unfulfilling life? What you – dear – seem to not understand is that you are also a creator of these mannequins. It is a domino effect, you see. All these manufactured people, things really, are intricately placed in a spiral. You are a single piece which has fallen within the control of the previous one, and you, in turn, are in control of the following one.

Thomas: Where are you within this spiral – dear? And who is it that tipped the first domino? Do not challenge the inevitable. The answers you seek are useless, unimportant and serve as no more then silly distractions. You are much better off falling when it is your turn. You mustn’t feel as if you are privileged, you are only meant to fill in a tiny and meaningless gap in this much larger spiral. You are insignificant.

Victoria: The difference dear is that I see the inevitable approaching from afar and I will defy it, no matter how meaningless I may be.

Thomas: You will?

Victoria: I will define myself according to self inflicted purposes.

Thomas: You are stubborn.

Victoria: There is no sense in continuing this conversation. You have already fallen. You are much more meaningless then I. You cannot be saved.

Thomas: You can defy as much as you’d like but whether you choose to acknowledge it or not – you too have fallen.

(Thomas exits the room.)

Victoria: How right you are dear. I have fallen out of the glass display and into the infinite.

(Victoria finishes her drink and throws the glass at her vanity mirror – and this time it shatters.)

Picture: http://brockeric.com/bpf/range/manequins/body_mannequin/
pink-mannequin.jpg

Flawed Design

Everything seems to be surreal when I look upon it alone. There are too many things I don’t understand – not only about the natural world but about myself. Why is it that these things are surreal to me?

I took a simple ride to the lake, I sat on an age old bench, which without a doubt held memories of happiness and sorrow – but my experience was of neither. It is not to extreme to say that I felt vacant, as if I had left myself to explore the world – time seemed of little concern.

She did not have to return home, she could have sailed the winds into core-deep crevices hidden beyond the places I have traveled. She could have been free, free in all of its glory. She could have been separate, experienced all the wonders of the world and never suffer the physical, emotional or mental consequences. She would be no wiser than her years reveal. She would not question the world, rather observe it and reconcile with its imperfections. She would feel every emotion, to their most severe extremes – but she would learn to forgive. She would…

…if only she didn’t return home to the walls which encase her within the world’s judgments and those self inflicted. If only she didn’t return to be enclosed, captured within the walls which shape and shift to suit a given scenario – but never remain true to their architectural design … if one design could ever exist.

Questioning Answers

What is it that I am looking for? Is it happiness, security or possibly the thought of either? It seems that so much of life is already defined for us and we are only meant to choose which definition defines what we believe our selves to be. Why is that we must have an answer that can be understood by many? Answers which are easily communicated and straight to the point? My concern is that there is no ‘point’ to get to, every defining moment is an array of native feelings, many of which we do not acknowledge because they seem so foreign. Too many of our questions are internal and abstract – which results in internal and abstract answers. It has been said that being able to ask questions is of greater reward then answering them. This rings true because in answering questions it seems that a concrete definition has been given. There is almost the feeling of no return when a question is answered. I was asked what music I liked the other day and I realized that I couldn’t answer this question, as simple as it may be. A friend questioned how I do not know what I like. After some thought I think it’s a question of what it is I don’t like. I haven’t heard enough songs, been exposed to enough types of music to say that I don’t like something. I, without a doubt, have favorites, but even then they are of varying kinds of music.

This may be a fear of saying something I will later contradict. I do understand that everything is relative, but even in a single moment I doubt my answers because they define me. One may say that I should concentrate on having some sort of satisfying answer nevertheless so that others do not think I am a passive person. What I want is the opportunity to ask questions about the simple things that we so carelessly answer like our favorite music, shows or diners. I want to be able to profoundly explore my reactions to all of these questions and how it is I can better refine them so that they are not merely a dissatisfying ‘I don’t know’.

But I’d also appreciate if others did not criticize this answer because it is not meant to show a disconnection or a sense of carelessness but rather to show a mind and personality that has not explored the various definitions which will develop and be used as concrete examples of who they are.